Strange to start fresh, no more House of Sand and Fog — a name I ripped off, of course. But it fit so well. Unsure what to call this new venture. Doesn’t matter much as no one, or at least very few, people will see it. But I am bugged nonetheless. Aesthetics, phrasing, the naming of things… it all matters to me. Even if it’s only to me.

So depressed tonight. No reason. Sure, I might be cranky from not working out, not surfing, not walking to the beach or riding my bike, but tonight brought a more intense angst. The kind that makes me want to swallow an entire bottle of anything that will obliterate this feeling. Stupid. Just got back from a trip to Mendo that involved an ocean view and in-room jacuzzi. Was treated to a late birthday lunch today at Hurricane Kate’s. Kids are relatively good: Nick’s blood sugar is in range, K’s focused on her artwork, Chelsea’s motivated to do something even if her ideas aren’t fully thought out yet.

Yet, here I am, shaky. Depending on wine and computer distraction. Wishing some sort of comfort existed. So weird.